TAXI critiques of song “Ruined,” continued. See part 1 of this series first.

by Fran Snyder

In the last post, we started discussing TAXI, and the song critiques they offer to artist members. You were also able to hear “Ruined,” one of the songs I’ve sent in several times to TAXI, so that we can talk about the several different critiques I’ve received for that particular song. But first, here’s the lyric:

Ruined

I was a dull day’s overcast sky, you were the sun on a sweet apple pie
I’d sworn off love so I averted my eyes
I was happy enough living alone, even if it was lonely i felt right at home
no fussin no fighting, no arguments arising from thin air
I was doing so well, oh well

Ruined… because of you
I’m ruined… what can I do
I’m ruined… caught with my defenses down
Ruined… you are my
un-doing… you chased the clouds away
You ruined my bad day

I woke up early despite being tired, after five cups of coffee I’m feeling so wired
if I don’t get to work, I’m gonna get fired
I would kiss you goodbye but you’re looking so sweet, in this chili little house you’re my sole source of heat,
with two extra blankets and tube-socks on your feet
so I crawl back into bed, snuggle up close, and you lay that sleepy smile on me. say would you work a while on me.

Chorus

If I was the president and you were a spy
I’d give up my country for your sweet apple pie
I’d sell our secrets, burn our ships, drop every bomb when you shake your hips, I’d
Take us to war, blame it on oil, set fire to the desert soil
I guarantee this world would be just like me

Chorus

Copyright 2005, Fran Snyder/Better Records (ASCAP) and all that jazz.
Available on the CD “Live and Then Some” through CDBaby or your favorite download site.

In the next post, we’ll look at several critiques I received from the reviewers at TAXI, and you’ll be able to judge for yourself if their input is valuable.